ennui, je suppose
When I was at BEA, hanging with my homey Kathleen from A Great Good Place for Books, I spent some time talking to our dear Elizabeth how I walked around for many years thinking that I was this very quiet, shy blonde girl who was, like , prevented from doing certain things because she was somewhat terrified/horrified of the world. And then I realized that what I was afraid of, and running from, and twisting myself into shapes over, was boredom. I hate to be bored and I don't mean the world bores me because, honeys, I am no sad, sorry teenager. I mean that I want to be in the world, functioning and operating and mingling in a non-boring way. The onus is always on me to find something sharp, a notion, a book, a song, an idea, a person to perk me up and dig me out of myself. Dig?
So I'm bored with a lot of the books I'm currently reading. Some of them are good, but not interesting. Some are just the glaze on my donut. Music has been the motor lately. I know what I like in books, but music, man, I'm open. Lists, suggestions they help.