One minute you're enjoying yourself finding ways to fit the phrase "put away that meat you're selling" into conversation (easier than it sounds: just turn your head fast and give an evil squint, never fails), the next minute you are having a nightmare, wide awake at 4:30 am, terrified like you have never been terrified in your life, grabbing your bag and getting in the car and driving to your friend's house. And then you are so freaked out that somehow you end up on that same weird road you got lost on a week ago, the 22, which is somehow an hour and a half in the wrong direction. You turn around a couple times but it only makes it worse.
The black turns to gray turns to mist and there are farmhouses with lights in the window and huge expanses of land around you, and you realize you are so unbelieveably far from where you want to be. Finally at 6:30 you find the right road, far on the other side of the valley, and at 7 you are at your friends house and asleep in the guest bedroom before you even say hello. Lucky.
The nightmare--it was the feeling behind it that got me out of the house. I am not used to nightmares. Sheer terror. Marching orders: get out.
The dream itself was that I stumbled on a book on amazon delineating precisely how this guy I know was the killer of two women. How when he cut their arms off it was done exactly the same way in both cases. The pictures in the book showing it were white marble busts with no arms, so beautiful. How both of these women had the exact same curve to their cheekbone and their eyebrows. I do not have this bone structure. But I gave this man keys to my apartment. I made some calls but my friends were all in Switzerland. He was coming for me. I was meat, actually. I woke up and couldn't breathe. Is this my dream too? A few years ago I woke up and there was an intruder in my apartment (I yelled & he left, everything okay) but that wasn't nearly as scary as this dream.
Fucking go, I say. It's okay though because tonight we are going to a DRIVE IN. Yes.